Sexual Abuse: The Cycle

Sexual Abuse: The Cycle

Unfortunately it is commonplace that individuals who experienced abuse during their childhood will find themselves in abusive relationships when they are adults. This can be either as a victim in an abuse domestic relationship or they become the abuser. This is hard to understand. It doesn’t seem logical that a person who was abused would choose to either enter an abuse situation or abuse another person.

However the reason may be simpler than you think. Victim of early abuse may connect abuse to love. The feelings of anger and shame are often interpreted by abuse victims as love or passion. So these people may not be able to recognize any other way to feel in a relationship. They may truly believe they are feeling love for an abuser because these are familiar feelings.

Becoming an abuser may be an attempt by that person to heal the scars of the previous childhood abuse. This is because the power they are feeling while abusing a victim are just the opposite of the feelings of helplessness they felt when they were being abused.

Many abusers have feelings of inadequacy, that they don’t deserve a healthy relationship. They cannot accept real feelings of love because they feel lesser than others.

On the other side, some abusers may have feelings of superiority and cannot accept other people as their equals. They cannot enter into a mutually equal relationship.

Abusers are often seeking ways to feel in control and powerful. This is due to the feelings of helplessness they felt when they were being abused. Abusing another person give them feelings of control.

Some abusers, especially if they experienced childhood sexual abuse, may become aroused sexually while abusing their victims.

Anger is another cause of abuse. The abuse can be seen as an outlet or expression for the feelings of anger that the abuser is carrying.

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